Bosses too are human!

Manoj seems to be frustrated, perturbed, over-worked and unhappy with his job. Every day when he come to work, he sees himself entering a war-zone, the commander of the opposition forces being his boss. What he sees is a fully empowered, authoritative bully who is intrusive & controlling, might be a prick as well sometimes.

He has been longing to hear some good words about the work he does, but, hasn’t heard any in the recent past. He is puzzled that how his boss can be so cold and indifferent, he doesn’t care too much about his lost sleep and is immune to mental pressure multiplying when faced with tough situations. Is ‘he’ for real? He asks himself every day!

It might be fair to assume that Manoj’s got a bad boss, a really bad one and dealing with a bad boss can be stressful, but, do you always find these kind of bosses, the answer is no, not all of us.

There are bosses or managers who may not be that welcoming, warm and loving, but, they might have their own working styles; here are some thoughts which can help us look at the ‘humane’ side of our bosses:

  1. Deadlines are more deadly : In these hyper competitive times, tough economic scenarios, stretched targets for business growth and productivity bosses have no choice but, to work with tight deadlines for their team. For them, deadlines once set for a week are set for the same day!
  2. Dilemma- My battle or yours: Bosses are taught and trained to lead professionals, build collaborative working culture and work cross-functionally with global teams and when it comes to battling tough times for an organization, they are asked to lay off their high and low performers, tough to do isn’t it?
  3. Bosses do have feelings: You may believe that your boss only thinks, instructs, manages to get the work done but, they do ‘feel’, they may feel hurt by their own bosses behaviour, by their sub-ordinates behaviour or by they own actions towards their people, but, sometimes do you have a choice?
  4. Every job isn’t secure: There can be a day when the management decides to do away with one of the sick business units and your bosses peer is asked to go, there comes in fear, uncertainty and job security looks like a distant dream, hence, bosses do secure their own job, they tighten their grip and the fear trickles down the ladder.
  5. New boss & the Authenticity Paradox: Bosses, especially the new ones suffer from ‘authenticity paradox’ when they are unsure of their own abilities to perform well by being authentic. They may want to adopt familiar behaviors and working styles which they have observed in successful leaders. This might look superficial but, it’s a calculated risk they take and one can assume that they’ll only better with time. So, it might be a good idea to give them time!

These thoughts are emerging from a sincere attempt to understand the linkages to the bosses behaviors .This article may not change the way we see our bosses or seed a feeling of love or pity for our bosses but, it may just help us see a broader picture and give our bosses a fair chance before passing a final judgment and tagging them as “Inhuman” or “Indifferent”.

‘Wise Choosy Fat Superman’

Its been a very long time that i wrote about my thoughts here, reasons galore, some reasonable & some not so!

This post is more of a reflection than information, on ‘Who we are’, some wisdom distributors have shared that we are a product of environment, past, experiences. I was quite unsure of validating this before i set course on my professional journey some 3 years back!

Life does change some bit once you enter the Corporate or Professional arena with heavy responsibilities & accountability taking a front seat in your mind space. Everyday you are striving hard for success, learning willingly or unwillingly, forging relationships- some genuinely or otherwise, eating consciously or unconsciously, gaining pride, cheat codes for success, new colleagues/friends – some for life or for the moment & of course lots of weight!

This ‘Wise Choosy Fat Superman’ the ‘New’ me is what i am focusing on. One has to agree to the fact that you got to sell yourself well in order to get ‘Nirvana- Ultimate Success’ in the Corporate world, hence, you got to really work on your sales pitch ( Thats what B-Schools teach you too, right?)! Our sales pitch gets refined day in and day out with external influences coming in from Superiors, peers, self-realization, organization dynamics, work dynamics, personal life & changes that accompany it, all of these and many more contribute towards our Sales pitch & our new ME!
FAT SUPERMAN
We work hard towards making ourselves ‘acceptable’ to our organization, peers & friends & when you see your Sales pitch doing wonders, you tend to believe in it all the more. This leads to what i would call’The Great Gambler’ experience, every time we use our Sales pitch, we tend to ignore or dump our negatives or fallacies & we tend to highlight our ‘Greatness’ or subtler version of ‘Greatness’! A new ‘BRAND ME’ becomes stronger with a repeat activity!

This is a gamble which by all laws of probability pays so much! It is quite likely that we start imagining ourselves to be a replica of our new BRAND image & thats when we seed trouble. All around things seem really glorified, we get acknowledged for our ‘ BRAND ME’, we get seen as our ‘BRAND ME’, we get treated as our ‘BRAND ME’ needs to be treated & we get all that the world has to offer to ‘BRAND ME’!!

We love it, we seriously like it when the ‘BRAND ME’ gives us super powers that get us ‘ATTENTION’! Our professional life, image, people & the world around it carries us with it, personal life, family, childhood friends, best friends, close friends, chaddi-buddies all are there, but, its a ‘faded’ memory that we have of these wonderful things that exist or once existed. Isn’t it the ideal way to lead life or what you would have imagined your ideal life to be like??

Maybe or May be not, i do feel that there’s some uneasiness, a feeling of something ‘missing’??

Is there any gap anywhere or is it a realization that i know that this is not ‘ me’ & i really miss that old- unadulterated self so much that it disturbs ‘me’! You would want to live the way that matches your core self!

You get a momentary feeling of disgust & a need or a want to
change, you want to get that old self back, this kinda feeling comes once in while & suppress it after pondering over it & rejoicing the faded memories of our wonderful old self, once our own ‘SUPERHERO”!

‘Personal life & its current state’,’Competition ~as intense as much as you think, feel & believe ‘,’People’,’Work dynamics’, ‘Organization Politics’, ‘Self- Conscience’ all in that order play a role in shaping, re-shaping &
firming up our ‘Wise Fat BRAND ME’ every single day.

We do become choosy- in some way or the other we keep choosing our attitude towards people, life & work; jobs, professional friends, societal status, life partner, co-travelers (philosophical yeah), extent or limit to which we own our family & the ones who matter, goals in life, channels to fulfill our desires- to sum it up we choose EVERYTHING thats related to us! Its ‘Our’ Choice!

All that i have mentioned above, makes us feel ‘Omnipotent’ isn’t it?? Is it?? May be or May be not? It all depends on us, the way we feel about it or the way we choose to accept it!

‘Life moves on’ & so do people’, everything is ‘Dynamic’ & its meant to be, but, IF ONLY we could keep our ‘CORE OLD LOVABLE SELF’ as it is, we would ‘Love’ ourselves more and acknowledge our the presence of our true self & things or moments that matter! This blog post does not ‘guide’ you or ‘instruct you’ or ‘questions you’, it might just help you spend a couple of minutes reflecting on the past & may be influence a little to get your ‘CORE OLD LOVABLE SELF’ back into business🙂

Signing off by saying, ignore if its too much ‘NOT YOU’, try & like it if you strike a cord with it, read it slowly & if it makes sense to you, takeaway whatever you can from this one! ‘Hate it’ if you feel ‘what crap?’, this guys got so much time! Don’t take it heavy on your ‘lovely’ heart, it only intends to share a thought, nothing beyond that! I would be glad to see your comments or thoughts on this one!

Have a wonderful new year 2013, try not to be a ‘Wise Choosy Fat Superman’!! Cheers!!

Of Mumbai, People & the ‘King’

Life moves at a different pace in this city of dreams…i came to this city the first time in my life on May 16th carrying perceptions build up in the past 24 years..

The pace of life, work, people & developments engulfs you into it so much so that you feel that you don’t feel like moving out of this Mumbai Shell…

Jaipur offered a peaceful, lonely yet wise lifestyle…Mumbai gave me what i missed the most during my Jaipur stint “Friends”..

From work to weekends, life became more beautiful, busy & every moment was blissful! New friends – Balu, Naicey, Naresh, Sang, Dheeraj , Ayush, Ritam & Viju made it quite eventful & happy!

Weekend plans became the focus areas during the week, desk phone rang up frequently with Naresh, Balu checking out on plans for the weekend – Movies, Plays, Dinners, Night outs occupied a lot of my mindshare!

3241, 3533 (incoming numbers) on my deskphone, chain mails in office become an integral part of my daily routine! Soon, i had 2 very strong partners in crime standing by me in successfully implementing my weekend money spilling plans….smartly convincing the REST ( ref. Naicey, Dheeraj, Ritam, Viju – Married man now)…Firangi , Raj Bhog, Poptates, Urban Tadka were the most commonly and frequently used words in our lives!

This was indeed great a time which is a well gelled history for me!

Very special birthday celebrations coupled with Sang’s Bachelorette party @Firangi was a nice ice breaker for all of us & gave us memories which are engraved inside forever!

Things moved on, life paced up, our bonds grew stronger each passing day! Balu’s home was our DEN & Viju’s preparations ( PAKODAS, CHAI) were relished by all!

Life was busy yet enjoyable here in this city as there was something more to life here! It was full of surprises, pleasant & shocking !

ESPN Cric Info – ‘Fantasy Cricket’ brought the Champion out of Balan, also showing glimpses of the fact that kids do exist in an Adult ( Read Balan)! World Cup was fun, India Won! We celebrated in style on the roads, a mad rush around added to the excitement!

Life & Naresh Kodithala:

You learn every moment from different people, would like to mention something about Naresh here, an ever- smiling, tension free, gal-friendly, a man who stands by you every moment ! He was my closest partner in crime at Mumbai, a performer at Work, a friend in a billion whom you can trust!

Both of us shared quite a lot of our LIKES, especially restlessness on weekends, movies, girls, friends!

God was kind enough to introduce me to this ever smiling, no-crib, trustworthy man who lived life to the fullest ‘KING SIZE’…I can’t Thank HIM enough on this!

22nd April, we watched an IPL Match together, drinks followed late night, truths & secrets started flowing…23rd April, we watched a couple of videos, abused each other for not deciding anything for the evening…..called up our 3rd partner in crime balu for an evening dinner plan….4 pm sharp both of us, accompanied by Dheeraj knocked on Balu’s door…where we had good fun playing PS3, having Chai!

Excited as we all were to move around in Naresh’s car which had recently come over from Hyderabad, we went to Inorbit – Vashi fr shopping, discussing plans on attending Viju’s marriage, etc….

After some bit of shopping, we had a gooood time at a Lounge in the mall, clicked pictures & a very happy saturday evening came to end! Drive back home was enjoyable, discussions, leg-pulling & random music were the fillers, my stupidity of plugging the wrong end of a car charger made all roll with laughter for a few minutes….

Finally, Naresh dropped us all home, bid adieu while he seemed a little impatient as it was 12 am and he had to leave for Lonawala at 4 am….

When i logged on to Facebook at night, an Update from Naresh ” Happy B’day God!” was there, wishing his favourite cricketer Sachin Tendulkar a happy b’day!

It was a routine Sunday morning, i got a call that Naresh had met with an accident, i tried to reach his number…which was ringing…i Hoped and prayed that it should be a bluff and even if its happened it should have be a minor one…

He wasn’t answering our calls, the group came together, other friends tried to reach him….I was Hoping that all should be fine…i wasn’t able to accept the fact that something of this sort has happened….

An office colleague informed me that it was a serious accident as Naresh has fallen down from Tiger point cliff….the shock was big enough , i could not expect, digest or absorb the same! All of us i believe we PRAYING hoping that he should come out fine….

God has His own ways of writing destinies for all of us ! He had taken away a very special human from our Group! Naresh was no longer with us!

We lost him due to Incompetent policemen who came to the point quite late because of which rescue mission started 3 hours after the incident had happened, No professional rescue teams & environment ministry- who had removed railings/ bars on the pretext of some environment crap , which would have saved Naresh & many other young men if they would have been there…

25th April was a new day when everyone couldn’t come to terms with our loss! Days have passed by but, the void is forever!

NARESH KODITHALA will be missed forever! God Bless his soul! I wish & hope that Government, Police & Ministries work Honestly…its a Utopian scenario but, i do WISH to see that happen!

Every day, every weekend i miss my partner in crime! Thanks to Balu and Group, we have stuck together, bonds have grown stronger & i would just pray to God that it remains like this forever!

God Bless all of you!